There are days when I feel flat and lethargic like a cold rubbery pancake. I dress myself up and put on a smile, but underneath the syrup I’m still the same. I gulp down a glass of orange juice too soon after brushing my teeth and it goes down bitter. Traces of pulp cling to the cup not wanting to leave, and I sympathize with them. We are all going and doing things we would rather not.
I stare defeated into the mirror at my unruly hair. This morning it is victorious. I put on a hat to hide its rebellion. Shoes go on, dirty and stiff they make my feet ache. I promise myself again that I will buy new ones, but I don’t have the energy. I walk slowly down the three flights of stairs where the cold and wind await me. I want to turn around and amble back up the stairs into my warm bed; a pancake on the hot griddle.
The clouds have smothered the sun leaving behind a world of drab pudding grey. The crunch of winter salt beneath my feet sounds like I’m crushing cornflakes with every step. Piles of snow hang about spattered with brown mud. My legs lack their usual crispness. Today they shuffle along like an old man.
The words of an old Sunday School song drag themselves into my mind. “This is the day! This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice. I will rejoice and be glad in it…” Today, of all days this song seems unfitting at best and possibly cruel. Another song joins the first. “Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice…”
“Damn songs, get out of my head,” I mutter. I walk through a rusted iron gate and another voice chimes in. “Celebrate good times come on!” Inside my jacket pockets, I squeeze my hands into fists and fight off the music and fail as a new song joins the chorus. “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies will never come to an end. They are new every morning…”
I kick at the salt. “I get it God. I’m listening. No need for more songs!” Somewhere up in Heaven the DJ for the angelic choir winks at God. “I was just getting started.” God laughs. “Don’t worry he’ll need a couple more reminders by the time the day is over that I’m here and that I love him.”