In the Garden of Eden Eve was called to be a helpmate to her husband to support him. Apparently God knew that Adam and the rest of us men needed all the help we could get! I have read this story so many times and noted the fact that Eve was the helper, Adam was the family leader and then I moved on. I never focused on the significance of Eve’s role, but that has changed recently.
Ever since Ali got pregnant my role has begun to shift to be more like that of Eve. Helpmate. Ali was taking on a task that I could not do, not matter how much I might want to. And to be honest I didn’t really want to be the one who was pregnant. Hormones. Peeing all the time. Constant discomfort. Ummm… not a hard choice. Then of course there was the whole excruciatingly painful birthing thing, which had me emotionally and physically exhausted by the end even though I didn’t do any of the pushing. It was during the labor when I held her hand and massaged and stood beside my incredible wife that I began to really see and understand this shift taking place.
Now that Baby Samuel has arrived in all his roley poly glory, the role of helper has only become more pronounced. It’s a strange feeling to look at your son as he’s crying and shoving his little fists into his mouth trying to suck on them because he’s hungry and realize that there’s nothing I can do to help him. He needs his mom not me. This is not a scenario that I can fix. I cannot work hard and suddenly start producing milk. All I can do is assist. Step to the side. Change diapers and rock Samuel to sleep. I am a helper. I am Eve.
It’s strange being Eve. There is a necessary amount of humility that comes with the territory. A letting go of being in control. Admiration for that which you cannot do. Growing to see that inability is not weakness. It is an opportunity to celebrate the strength and giftedness of my wife. The struggle is learning to find contentment in the new role that I have been given as I love without being in the center.